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Left Side


Famous moments
from history reenacted
by socks.




Original web-strip





WANNABE’S
Those with noble and creative aspirations, many caught between a dream and a day job, some cheerful and right off the boat, having no idea the pain and suffering that awaits. Today probably feels like the first day of the rest of your life.
It isn’t.

HAS BEENS
Though it may be better to have loved and lost, it is better to never have had money than to have had money and lost it.

THE GAINFULLY EMPLOYED WHO HATE
THEIR JOBS

Characterized by Sunday night blues, a desperate cling for Friday, where you joyfully anticipate the highest hopes for the weekend which rarely and/or never meets your expectations.

PEOPLE WHO WORK IN FEAR OF THE
FAUCET BEING TURNED OFF

Embrace your paranoia and don’t let anyone talk you out of it. There is a trap door under your chair. It will spring open. It’s only a matter of when.

THOSE WHO HAVE MARRIED RICH AND DON'T
HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WORKING

Bravo and fuck you.

THE PERPETUALLY UNEMPLOYED
Repeat these six words like a mantra: No, no, yes, no, no, no.

EGOMANIACAL EXECS WITH TINY PENISES
Though it will be a week rife with opportunities to berate secretaries and all employees beneath you, force yourself to remember that it still won’t get any bigger. Perhaps try eating a napoleon instead of being one. See FAUCET.

HIGH-POWERED EXECS WITH VAGINAS
AND TICKING OVARIES

Do not do lunch. Do not pass go. Go straight to the nearest gyno and stick some of those ovaries on ice. Completely disregard whether or not you currently have a man. Everything you need from one can fit at the end of an eyedropper.

THE SEEMINGLY HAPPY
It's for you that we all join together to say a prayer. The happy, the content, the naive... sadly it is you that is in for the biggest fall.

© 2008 Daily Anxiety. All rights reserved.

Right Side
Seuss and
Shakespeare
to Co-scribe
Uni-Pic

Because of lackluster
box office receipts in
previous big screen
Shakespeare
adaptations, Universal
sought the ultimate
script doctor to
generate youth appeal
in it’s aging franchise.